dear david wenham,

listen. you were really hot in "300" and the "lord of the rings" trilogy, but i recently watched both "van helsing" and "gettin' square" to enjoy more of your hotness and found both performances to be sorely lacking. not because you aren't talented - because you are, especially in "gettin' square" (i was convinced you were a real junkie! and it was neat how you got your eye to be lazy like that) - but because your characters were both completely unattractive. and you know what? being ugly can be bad for your career. just look at dj qualls.

so, stop it. be hot again. if not for yourself, then for me.

your friend,
jen