I wish I could know whether I'm crazy and imagining this, or if he's really a big liar who's so clearly sending out signals.
I wish I didn't have to go to Stockholm in January. Actually, I wish the stupid tickets will get sold out so I won't have to go without looking like a douche.
I wish I could stop making promises because I know I can't keep them.
I wish my dad won't freak out when I tell him I smoke.
I wish it wasn't so god damn frightening to tell him. After all, he's known for years but we just haven't mentioned it.
I wish I had something to do.
I wish my thighs weren't so fat.
I wish Christmas didn't suck.
I wish my inner child wasn't growing old.
I wish I wasn't growing old.
I wish I had the energy and will to do things. Fun, youthful things.
I wish life would be easier for the ones I love and care about.
I wish I wasn't such a pathetic, cowardly human being.
I wish I wasn't spending my night crying.
I wish that I could tell at least one person all of this without them starting to talk about stupid stuff I don't care about right now.
I wish one of my friends would actually care and not brush this off like it's nothing.